but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
