awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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