I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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