i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
