so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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