Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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