I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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