Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
