I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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