i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
accomplished twins. life is a go
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
