I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
