Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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