we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
