I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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