weddingsv make me drug and hornr
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
