Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
