is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize