Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
