none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
