Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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