Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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