What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
