she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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