I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
