Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
