She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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