How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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