either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
