Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
