summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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