Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
