i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
