But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
