Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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