is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
