I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
