Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My bed smells like the plague
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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