Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
