kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
