he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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