Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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