You work out of a Hotel?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
