Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
