i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
