so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
