Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
look no pants
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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