You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
