he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
