stop calling my apartment porn island.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
