people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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