can u get pink eye on your cock?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
