it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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